EmmetJasperVaultDISASTER
by Lemonade Ninja
Summary: Emmet and Jasper get hold of some Vault. Hilarity ensues, vampires get angry and you learn Vault has a reason for it's name. Oneshot. R


**Disclaimer:** I have to the very sad realization that nobody plus me owns Twilight, sadly. But Stephanie Meyers does, becuase she wrote the book. Sigh

_**A/N: WARNING: there will be scary stuff in here, but it is safe to read. it's just hyperness, but you add that to Jasper and Emmet, then you DO get scared. This is a story I thought up randomly, so enjoy**_

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**Bella's POV**

"Edward, what the heck are Jasper and Emmet doing? They sound like they're, like, hyper and --- Are they singing OPERA?!?!" I asked Edward, who was next to me on the couch.

I heard voices that sounded like deep voices that sounded at the same time --- as vampires voices always do --- very sweet and melodic. And those voices sounded like Jasper and Emmet SINGING OPERA!!

"You know, I have NO idea, and I have a feeling I don't want to," answered Edward.

"Come on, lets go downstairs and see what they are doing," I said, getting up and trying to pull Edward off the couch. I was unsuccessful. Sometimes, I forgot that Edward was formed out of rock. Edward got up reluctantly.

We crept down the stairs, and when we came to the door of the living room, we cuatiously peeked around it, as if it would blow up.

What we saw was frightening.

Edward's POV

As we peeked around the side of the living room door, we saw a very frightening sight.

Emmet was singing OPERA along with Jasper. Emmet was --- this was the second frightening sight, wait, no. it's the FIRST frightening sight --- in an old fashioned PINK LADIES DRESS. Complete with the Old Fashioned frilly, disgusting, WHITE umbrella. he was twirling it around. And he had on a wig that had curly, flowy, blonde hair.

My jaw dropped about a foot seeing Emmet in the dress, and my jaw dropped even further when I saw Jasper. He was in those pants that they wear when people ride horses. And he was in a British Red Coats suit, but with a sword, not a musket, because Esme would kill him if she caught him in the house with a musket.

Next to me, Bella had collapsed to the floor, laughing her head off. Tears were rolling down her face.

Emmet fell to the floor on his knees in front of Jasper, his hands clasped tightly together, shouting Opera at Jasper, as if pleading with him.

Bella's POV

Tears were rolling down my face at the sight of Jasper and Emmet.

Next to me, Edward was standing stock still, jaw open, staring at Jasper and Emmet as if they were lunatics.

After I had managed my laughter, I saw that around Jasper and Emmet, were four 16 oz. bottles of Vault.

It was my turn for my jaw to drop to the ground.

All of a sudden, Jasper and Emmet stopped singing Opera, and ran to the other side of the house, where a loud BANG, CRASH, BANG, BANGITY BANG BANG CRASH!

Rosalie came down the stairs just then, obviously wondering WHY Emmet and Jasper were making a racket.

Rosalie's POV

I heard a bang downstairs, so i decided to check it out.

I was guessing it was Jasper and Emmet, because i had heard their voices. Singing... Opera, unfortunately.

I walked into the Living Room where Bella and Edward were; Bella was laughing, while Edward was staring into the kitchen, which was across the hall.

All of a sudden, Edward ran upstairs, obviously needing to get something.

We walked to the kitchen and saw Jasper and Emmet on the island, still singing (but not Opera, THANK THE LORD), dancing with the prop pans we use.

"WHAT... ARE... YOU... DOING???" I cried, going over to the island.

"We're dancing the Macareena (Is that a dance? I'm not exactly sure)," said Emmet, stopping for a second then resuming the dance.

"WHY are you dancing? Esme will kill you if she finds you dancing on the Island. More, Carlisle will ground you BEFORE killing you. Not that you can be killed," I exclaimed

"We drank two things of Vault each. That drink is SO awesome. You have GOT to try it," said Jasper in a voice that was squeaky.

I moaned.

Emmet gasped and stopped dancing. "Jasper! WE FORGOT THE VAULT IN THE LIVING ROOM!!"

"Oh, no, what are we going to do?"I exclaimed in a sarcastic voice.

Edward's POV

I could NOT believe my eyes.

Emmet in a pink, old-fashioned dress. with lace and everything. And the BIG SKIRT. It was slightly disturbing. All of a sudden, I got an idea, ran up to my room and got my camcorder.

I got back in time to catch Jasper and Emmet singing and dancing on the island in the kitchen.

Oh boy, Esme is going to kill them if she ever finds out, I thought, recording Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie, who was shouting at them. Bella was luaghing again.

Then Jasper and Emmet ran out of the kitchen and into the living room.

I followed, Bella and Rosalie right behind.

Alice came in the front door just then, arms full of shopping bags and pausing in the doorway to the living room to see what was going on, stopped, dropped her bags, and promptly fell over backwards. I don't even know if it is possible for a vampire to faint.

I turned the camera back on Jasper and Emmet, who were each chugging down another bottle of Vault.

Bella's POV

I asked Edward: "Is it good for them to be drinking this much Caffeine? I mean, Vampires can't even drink soda, or any liquid at all right?"

"True," said Edward. He was filming the two hyped up Vampires, who were each chugging down yet another one of the Vault bottles. What had been four, was now ten, which meant that they had each drank... i did some quick math in my head... FIVE FLIPPIN' BOTTLES!!

Luckily, there were only ten bottles in the whole pack, so they couldn't have anymore.

They dropped their bottles, and ran out of the room, stepping over Alice, who was, surprisingly, out cold.

Rosalie and me followed them, Edward, still filming them, close behind.

It was chaos after that. We chased Jasper and Emmet around for a half an hour.

We found them in Jaspers room, bouncing tennis balls. They had set off bouncing ten tennis balls each, making a grand total of twenty bouncing tennis balls bouncing around the room. Edward had to pull me out of the way of when a tennis ball came towards me, coming within an inch of the side of my head.

Jasper and Emmet then ran out of the room and when we found them again, they were in the driveway in front of the house.

They had brought two of those huge bouncy plastic balls that bounce really good out with them.

They were bouncing on top of them.

I shook my head, luaghing. When Jasper and Emmet get hyper, it's really scary. And amusing.

Carlisle's car pulled up just then, and very good timing too, because Jasper bounced a really good bounce, went flying through the air...

Carlisle's POV

... ONTO THE HOOD OF MY CAR!

I got out of my car, and pulled Jasper off of it.

"What do you think you are doing?" I asked, extremely ticked off.

Esme got out of my car, as well.

"HEY CARLISLE!" said Jasper and gave me a huge hug, and ran off into the house with Jasper.

Edward came up to me. He was holding a camcorder.

"Don't worry, you'll understand. I got the whole thing on tape," he said, patting the recorder and grinning.

I luaghed. Then I said: "Let's go watch it."

Jasper and Emmet, obviously, heard that and came running out of the house.

"YOU FILMED US?!? AWESOME DUDE!" cried Jasper.

I did a double take just then. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

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**A/N:** Okay, what did you think? I know it's a oneshot, but yeah. I kept cracking up when i was writing this, so i hope you liked it.

Read and REVIEW.


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